Monday, July 20, 2009

A new dawn, a new day

Dear Readers,

I’M BAAAAAACCCKKKK! After a brief stint in rehab and three abortions later, I decided it was time for a change. So I packed up my shit and made my way to New York City… It’s been seven months, and I’ve done everything short of prostitution to keep myself afloat in this city of $12 Kettel One on the rocks. It’s hard living for an alcoholic! What? I know I said I went to rehab, but that was just to kick my crack habit… Baby steps people. Back to the prostitution thing though- I’m not ruling it out. If anyone knows a good pimp I wouldn’t be opposed to a lunch meeting. You can always find a good pimp judging on what restaurant he picks. If he tells me to meet him at IHOP at 12am (before the shift change) it probably isn’t going to be a match.

Anyway, I’m writing to you a la Carrie Bradshaw -reincarnated in homo form- from my laptop, in my backyard in New York, with a cup of coffee and pack of smokes. Life is getting easier as I figure out how to maneuver my way around this beast of a city. I’ve made some great friends in the time that I’ve been here and I’ve also met A TON of crazies, which I suppose is a win-win for me. If you know me, you know I run toward the crazies full force and tackle them in a giant bear hug... Unless they are covered in their own feces or something, then I keep a 10 foot rule.

Long story short, I have made my way through the crack haze, stumbling over the bottles of Robitussin, and found my way back into the Blog universe! I can’t promise any certain amount of entries per month yet, as my three therapists told me to keep a light workload while I get back on my feet. However, I have a long list of new celebs that either need to be showered with praise or sent an envelope with a razor blade and two Tylenol PM’s (SPIEDI gets a double order.) So stay tuned and put the word out… let’s get the list of readers to grow from the tens to twenties!

Sincerely Yours,
Snap, Crackle n Pop.