Dear Denise,
I've been seeing things lately, disturbing things. Your ads on E! for your new reality series mostly. The part that that makes me cringe is when the announcer says "Denise Richards..." then the camera zooms in close to your face and you say "It's complicated" with a weird vocal influx on the "It's"
I'm not saying I won't watch the show, but I'm an easy sell. Anytime there is a train wreck letting cameras into their life, I'm front and center at my tv.
Example: Hey Paula! on Bravo.
But it's going to be really hard watching your face for twenty something minutes (excluding commercials.) The only thing you've done of note in terms of a "career" was that lesbian kiss with Neve Campbell in Wild Things.
With that we segway in your personal life. You marry Charlie Sheen, someone who has staying power in Hollywood, but also has a hankering for hookers and coke... lots of hookers and coke. Call me crazy (I don't have any hidden proof) but I just get the sense marrying him was more calculated on your part then actual love. You pop out some kids (to up your payments, determined by your pre-nup) and then abruptly leave him only saying "He knows what he did." That's all we get?
And then... What little amount of interest I had for you was drained when you were seen shacking up with your best friends ex husband. Richie Sambora! Really? Who in their right mind would want to roll around with that in the dark? I just got a shiver as I typed that.
Now do you understand why it will be hard for me to watch your face for twenty something minutes? (excluding commercials) My mind will be drifting back to the image of Richie Sambora coming towards me, naked in the dark. That, and you have the personality of a tree stump.
Blah.
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